Superman and Bizarro.

I'm going to bitch about something that bothers me now.

Superman.

Now, I work in a comic book store and I've noticed that a lot of people have really sour feelings towards Big Blue. I honestly love the character... or rather, the mythology of the character. But I know why people hate him, it makes sense to me. It's quite simple - There are NO good Superman stories.
Or rather, there are no good stories in the main canon. Sure you have awesome ideas like Mark Millar's "Red Son", and Brian Azzarello's, "Lex Luthor: Man of Steel" but these are unfortunately not part of the characters main timeline.

My point is - in the history of the best (or at least, most popular) comic book characters in history there has been significant events that shake the story up from time to time.

Spider-Man has had the death of Uncle Ben, the death of Gwen Stacy, his best friend becoming a drug addled psycho Goblin, an identity crisis, a suit that makes him unbeatable but also evil and a reality altering plot (that also killed the sales of the comic, but hey, it shook the cage!).

Batman has had the death of his family, the death of the second Robin (followed eventually by the rise of that Robin as an evil little prick), he's been a fugitive, he's had his entire city crumble and be classed as a No Man's Land and he's recently questioned the death of his parents and subsequently killed by his "Dad".

Daredevil (my personal favourite) lost his father, has lost the love of his life, the lust of his life, his recent wife was driven insane, another lover he had went insane and has tried to kill him more times than I can count (Gotta love Typhoid Mary, she's the hottest crazy chick in comics), his identity has been revealed to the public, he's been to jail , he's believed his best friend to be dead, he's been used and abused more times than any other comic book character I think of.... even Wolverine had it easy in comparison, because at least Wolverine could just chop the shit out of anyone that fucked with him.

The Green Lantern had his girlfriend killed and stuffed into the fucking FRIDGE, man! The fucking FRIDGE!

What has happened to Superman? Is his Dad dead or not? I can never tell because people tell the story in different ways. Even so, if his Dad is dead then whatever, it was a heart attack and the man was old. Sad, but not really an interesting story to read.
Superman has had a complicated relationship with Lois Lane, but she's alive... and it seems that she always fucking will be too.
And this is the problem... Superman can't be killed, even Kryptonite doesn't have the same effect that is used to since he became "immune". So how do we shake up the story?

Kill Lois Lane.

And NOT just kill her, have her killed by Bizarro, the evil dimwitted retard version of Superman. Not only will he take away Superman's true love, he'll embarrass the shit out of him.
What next? Have Superman just lose his fucking mind. Because we can believe the Super part of his name, so let us see him be a fucking MAN for a change. Show some goddamn emotion, show that his mind is just as fragile as all of ours!

Next step: He kills Bizarro. Full on pummels his face into the ground. In the public eye, no less. Have the world see Clark Kent - not Superman - but Clark Kent, beat the life out of his villian.

And then what? Have Lex Luthor save his ass. Have them working together for the betterment of humanity.

How is that going to work? I'm not telling. Gotta keep an ace up my sleeve, right?

So now that the comic book rant is over I direct you to the metaphor and the message I'm trying to make (whilst also pitching my idea).

Sometimes you need to let shit happen to ultimately end up with something good. You need to lose your head from time to time. Stop being rational and let impulse take control. Yes, there may be repurcussions but so be it. If going crazy for a little while is what you need to do, then do it. I'm not saying you should let your loved ones die and then go on a killing spree, that's why comics are far from reality. I'm saying that life is too short to just roll on through looking at the scenery. Sometimes you need to jump out of the cart and swing on those fuckin' trees - get it?

Ah fuck the moral, I was just ranting about Superman but wanted to seem like I meant something deep.

That does not invalidate what I said though!

Have fun.

Your Friendly Neighbourhood Joe!